


Erza's Cooking Disaster

by MagicianDaria



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Failed cooking attempts, Fluff and Crack, Hints at foul language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 02:12:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4161741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicianDaria/pseuds/MagicianDaria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When told by Mirajane and Lucy that guys liked it when a girl cooked for them, Erza decided to give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Erza's Cooking Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction in a LOOOONG time, and so I'm probably crazy rusty, so I decided to write a little fic as a character i'm cosplaying next month :D PS When I say crack, i mean CRACK, and this is probably so OOC that it isn't even funny...This is really not meant to be taken seriously I promise xD

The Fairy Tail guild was lively as ever, above the cheers and loud chattering Erza could barely hear herself think. The young woman sighed and turned back around on the bar stool to face Mirajane once more. 

"So what seems to be the problem, Erza? You seem a bit distracted lately."Mirajane commented, eyeing the redhead worriedly.

"Oh, it's just Jellal..."Erza said offhandedly making the white haired girl grin.

"Oh~ So what's the problem? Is he being too demanding in his affections?"She asked slyly.

"No! No...He just seems, unhappy...and I don't know if it's something I did or if there is something I can do." Another sigh left the woman's lips as she spoke about her boyfriend, Jellal. The man had been distant lately, almost to the point of avoiding her. Just thinking about it made her sick to her stomach, though that feeling was knocked away by the suprise she felt as a delicate hand touched her shoulder.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to overhear, but I think I might have an idea." said the teen who was still touching Erza's shoulder. Erza looked up to see Lucy Heartfilia hovering over her. She shouldn't have been surprised. The blonde girl had taken a liking to her ever since she joined the guild.

"Well, what's your idea then?" Erza asked her, genuinely curious.

"Cook for him~! It's a nice gesture to show you care for him. Plus, everyone says the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Lucy explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Mirajane clapped," Perfect idea, Lucy! Jellal will be so excited to see a home-cooked meal!" 

Erza looked at them quizzically but nodded," If you both say so, I could at least give it a shot. Thanks. Both of you." She flashed them both a quick but warm smile and headed off to make a meal fit a for a king, or a wizard at any rate.

_____

Erza was not sure how things turned out this way. Surely, this was not even physically possible for food to do. And yet, as long as she stared, it never got any better. 

About an hour beforehand:

She didn't know what to make so she had just pulled out what they had in the fridge: Some steak, yogurt, milk, butter, eggs, cheese, whipped cream and lettuce. These were all good separately, so why wouldn't they be good together? Erza stared at the ingredients triumphantly, she would conquer this task known as cooking. First she pulled out a skillet, as she had seen other people use to cook steak and put the two steaks in on high heat, because she wanted it to cook really fast in case Jellal got home early. She looked over her ingredients and put the remaining items, minus the lettuce in a pot and stirred it all together. As it came to a boil, it was a very odd yellow-y colored soupy mess. But she had seen people have sauces for their steaks, and eggs go good with steak, and the rest is made of milk which is a liquid so perfect for sauce! She grabbed the tongs and flipped the steaks which were completely scorched on the bottom." Ah, these are like the markings steaks have when professionals cook them! This must be correct!" Erza smiled and hummed lightly to herself as her liquid became slightly dense as she stirred. She removed the pan from the heat and turned to the lettuce.

"Ah my adversary, the head of lettuce! Have at you!" She summoned one of her swords and sliced through it, and the cutting board she had placed it on. She then proceeded to tear the halves apart and put them into two bowls. She returned to the fridge and found some ham cubes which she put into the lettuce filled bowls, and added some cheese on top. "Hmm, this looks about right." She nodded firmly and turned to the steaks which were smoking slightly. "They're smoking hot, they must be done." She pulled the steaks off of the heat and put them on and plate and covered the steaks with the sauce. 

The sound of the key in the lock made her head snap up. She held the two plates in her hand and smiled as Jellal stepped through the door and removed his boots. He looked up at her in surprise," Did you...make dinner?" He asked, eyeing the burned mess on the plates in her hands.

"I did. I made steak with a sauce and salad." She responded happily. Jellal nodded slowly and smiled hesitantly at her.

"Well then, we should eat." He stepped forward and took the plates from her hands and set them down on the table along with the bowls of salad. He took his place and after a moment of sawing through burned steak, dipped it in the sauce and took a bite. The mixture was sickening. What had that crazy girl put in this? Jellal gulped down the bite, but that was all he could handle. Almost instantly his stomach decided it needed to get out. The blue haired man got up and ran to the bathroom to empty his stomach, leaving a very confused Erza behind.

"Jellal...?"She asked hesitantly once the retching noises had stopped probably several mintues even hours later. She wasn't even sure anymore, she was just worried for her boyfriend."Are you okay?"

The man cursed softly and looked at her," What was in that, Erza?"

"Ummm, cheese, eggs, whipped cream, yogurt...? It's all so good on it's own..."Erza responded, good mood officially deflated at this point. Jellal groaned and stood up.

"Erza, I love you but..."He placed both hands on her shoulders," You are never allowed to go into the kitchen unsupervised again."

_____

As she recounted the story to the ladies at the guild, hands in her lap fidgetting, they gave her nothing but pitying looks. "I'm sorry things didn't go well Erza. Maybe we can try something else?"

"Yeah, like a romantic date night or..?"Mirajane suggested helpfully. They both stared at the woman who was gazing at her hands.

"Well, we did talk after that whole fiasco, and I figured out why he has been acting so oddly lately." She told them. The two leaned forward expectantly.

"What was it?"

"Come on, you HAVE to tell us what happened!" Lucy insisted. Erza said nothing and just held up her hand, showing off a silver band with a diamond atop it.

:OH MY GOODNESS! He proposed!!!" Mira ran around the counter to hug the other girl," This is fantastic! We have to have a guild party!!!" Mirajane grinned and led Lucy off to go plan for what was sure to be one party Erza might actually enjoy attending.


End file.
